Two Children...One Love

It was a hot summer day and with little rain having fallen lately, I went outside to get the hose. I was just about to turn on the water and then I saw it. There it was, in the middle of my garden, a spectacular sight, something I had never seen before.

Imagine this image - two rose blooms – one pure yellow, the other pink with just a hint of a yellow hue on its petals. They are each growing on their own individual sprigs which are connected in a V shape to the same stronger branch that is rooted firmly in the ground. One bush with two very different coloured roses having come from the same source!

I was so taken back…How could this have happened? As an avid gardener, I knew this was in fact the second round of blooming on this particular bush, and I had never seen a yellow rose on it before! I felt myself very humbled by this experience and many thoughts ran through my mind.

Their parent in the sky feeds them with the rain and nurtures them with the warmth and light of the sun, each blossom receiving the same nourishment as they each gracefully grow and open fully into the beautiful flowers they were destined to be – side by side, dawning different colours, yet each emanating their own spectacular beauty.

This was truly one of nature’s miracles and I stood in awe, observing these rose’s unique beauty, loving them both the same. I didn’t have a preference or dislike for either yellow or pink. I sensed that the roses could feel the energy of this love and appreciation and were grateful for being admired and adored equally, even though their appearances differed.

This brought back memories when, as a parent, I may not have appreciated the individuality of my children, unconsciously comparing them or feeling disappointed in one more than the other.

Each bloom that sprouts miraculously on our family rose bushes may be different in their characteristics, even though they come from the same garden and I believe that they, like nature’s roses, can also feel the energy of unconditional love.

I am grateful for the reminder that my garden offered me that day, to be aware and conscious that although I have two children…I have one love.


Author's Bio

A reaction, a look or a phrase, and we catch ourselves, “I’ve turned into my mom/dad!” Jo-Anne Cutler is no exception. Once she became aware of this and the impact her words and reactions had on her kids, she made a conscious choice to change. Jo-Anne knew that if she could do it, anyone could! She now builds awareness for others as an author, speaker and coach, offering phone sessions, audio programs as well as a monthly newsletter inspiring others on how to keep all the great things we’ve learned from our parents while breaking the cycle of the not so good habits. For more information or to contact Jo-Anne directly, please visit http://www.jcconnections.ca

World Breastfeeding Week

Celebrate World
Breastfeeding Week

August 1- 7 (with events throughout the month!)

"Breastfeeding gives mothers and babies a strong start."

This years World Breastfeeding Week focuses on the benefits of breast milk and the empowerment a woman gets knowing that she can feed her baby.

They are also focusing on helping others find supportive friends (like us!) to encourage them!

Here are some suggestions on what you can do in honor of World Breastfeeding Week from Sheri at Breastfeeding Magazine.

1. Get a group of nursing mothers together and have a nice lunch. Sometimes it is nice just to chat with supportive friends.

2. Be there as a mentor for a brand-new mom. Remember back during those first crazy weeks with a newborn or two, that it's nice to look up from your sleep-deprived haze and see a mom who's been through it and survived. Not only does she give you hope -- she's so relaxed and competent -- but she'll praise you, tell you that you're doing great, and assure you that you can do this !

3. Help a less fortunate mom by donating a breast pump to a new mom who may not be able to afford one or give one to a pregnancy center. You will truly bless her and her babies.

4. Take a day (or at least a couple hours) just for you. Breastfeeding is a big commitment.A huge committment when you have twins. Even if you are on a 2 hour nursing schedule, ask dad or a friend to watch your baby and go recharge your batteries! Read a book, take a nap or just take a walk. It will do wonders for your mood!

5. Donate milk (or money) to the Milk Bank Project. You might help save a life!

6. Celebrate by attending one of Le Leche League’s World Breastfeeding Week Events. To find out what events are in your state, click here.

No matter how you decide to celebrate…
Happy World Breastfeeding Week
Visit us Breastfeeding twins

Dealing with the queasies of morning sickness

Morning sickness in no fun for any pregnant woman. The bright side is - if there is one, is that studies have shown that mothers who do experience the nasty nausea and vomiting early in their pregnancies are more likely to have healthy, full term babies. ( this doesn't mean to panic if you don't have morning sickness though - every woman is different.)

Many women suffer from morning sickness during the first three months of pregnancy - known as the first trimester. How bad the symptoms are varies from mother to mother and even from pregnancy to pregnancy. In a twin pregnancy, you can expect double the hormones to cause double the morning sickness. Usually this is an indicator that there may be two babies in there!

Some women have morning sickness only in the morning. Others have it all day long and wonder why they call it 'morning sickness' when it's more like 'all day sickness'.

What causes morning sickness ? The culprit seems to be the pregnancy hormone - human chorionic gonadrotopin or HCG. It's the hormone that we test for in pregnancy tests and it is highest during the first few months of pregnancy. Progesterone, another hormone results in the slowing of the digestive process and may also be a factor. There's a lot of changes going on in a pregnant woman's body ,such as increases in kidney function and blood volume .

If you are suffering from morning sickness you probably don't care about WHY - you just want to get relief while you're marking off the days on the calendar for your 2nd trimester. Here are some things to try to give yourself some relief.

1) Keep crackers by the bed and try to eat some before you even make an attempt to get up out of bed. Having a totally empty stomach can give you queasies right off the bat.

2) Don't eat till you are stuffed. Eating small meals, often throughout the day will keep your stomach acid down and your blood sugar levels stable.

3) Try not to eat and drink at the same time - again - this prevents your stomach from being overly full so eat and drink separately.

4) Make sure you are not dehydrated especially in the summer months - sipping on cold water, fruit juices milk will keep you hydrated.

5) Stick to plain, boring, bland foods. If you are suffering with morning sickness it is not the time to check out new Thai or Indian spicy food - stick to bland until your stomach settles. Sometimes the smell of certain spices in cooking will set you off too - if something makes your stomach turn - avoid it.

6) Eat complex carbohydrates such as pasta, toast, and potatoes - again - bland and starchy and less likely to set off your tummy.

6) Stay away from greasy and fatty foods - things like pizza and greasy cheeseburgers probably won't sit very well , and they don't have a lot of nutritional value anyway.

7) If your sense of smell has gone crazy - you may need to ask hubby to do the cooking - or avoid cooking anything with strong odors - it's OK to just have soup or pancakes !

8) Talk to your doctor about vitamin B6 - it has been shown to help reduce nausea in low doses. You may also want to consider switching prenatal vitamins as some are harder to digest than others.

9) Ginger ! in tea, in gingerale in candy form - it can help with morning sickness.

10) Get some fresh air - taking a walk in the fresh air can help you feel better while you wait it out.

11) Sour things can help - not sure why but lemon candy, lemonade, lemon popsicles , lemon in water all seemed to help me get past morning sickness.

12) Brush your teeth often and use mouthwash - the extra saliva in your mouth will make you feel sick so get rid of it as often as you can. If your toothpaste is suddenly turning your stomach - switch brands or flavors. And if you are vomiting - this will help protect your teeth from your stomach acids.

13) Keep your toilet bowl clean - just trust me on this one - if your face is in it - you'll want it to be clean !

14) Do what works for you. Eat what appeals to you - even if it's unusual or not nutritionally perfect. Avoid triggers as much as possible and get help with things that turn your stomach if you can.

Morning sickness is one of those things that you may suffer with - but know that it is temporary and that your body is just adjusting to all the changes taking place. While that may be hard to do while your head is in the toilet bowl again - try to keep your sense of humor and focus on building a healthy baby! Every one is different - I couldn't look at raw meat or even at pictures of raw meat in the grocery store flyers, couldn't smell parmesean cheese, and the smell of a dirty or wet diaper sent me running. But it passed!

Now - if your morning sickness is extreme, or going beyond the first 3 months, or you're losing too much weight and feeling dizzy - make sure you let your doctor know immediately. He may prescribe medication to help with the nausea, and a small percentage of women do require hospitalization due to Hyperemesis Gravidarum- severe morning sickness.

For most women - it passes by the second trimester - and just becomes a rather unpleasant memory so hang in there ! I feel for you!

When you're not paying attention....

My twins have grown up with me working from home. When I was doing internet marketing I was on the phone a lot and they quickly learned that that was the time to get into trouble because mommy wasn't really watching them. That , coupled with the fact that while I'd be on the phone always seemed to be the optimum time for someone to yell
"mommy come and wipe my bum !!!!!!!" loud enough for the person on the line to hear made my choice of careers slightly difficult and often embarrassing.

Now that I work exclusively online - the phone problems are no longer there - but I do tend to get caught up in things. After asking me for something a number of times and being told ' in a minute' - that usually tells the twins to go for it - mom's not watching.

I was building a webpage and noticed that it had gotten a little TOO quiet around here ( always a bad sign ). I left my office and started walking around - and couldn't find them ! I went downstairs and flicked on the light.....

2 giggling, naked little people went STREAKING past me and up the stairs covered head to toe in marker stripes. When asked - they were 'playing tigers'. They had even managed to color inside their ears! After a couple of photos and a lot of supressed laughter on my part , I tried to sternly put them in the tub.

Just another reminder to me that I really need to pay more attention some times!

Top 15 Stupid Things People Say to Parents Of Twins

The Top 15 Stupid Things People Say to Parents of Twins

15. “I could never do it.” (Oh really. What would you do? Are you suggesting I put them on the curb with signs around their necks that say, “Free to a good home. My mom can’t do it.”?)

14. “Do they have different personalities?” (No. They are the same human being divided into two parts.)

13. Said by a stranger, “They’re identical, right?” Mom answers, “No. They’re fraternal.” Stranger response, “They are NOT!” (OK. You’re right. I have no idea what I’m talking about. These are not my children. I thought it would be fun to borrow them from a mom down at Baby Gap. It’s been more than an hour. I guess I should return them.)

12. “Are they ‘paternal’ twins?” (Yes. They have a father. There was only one virgin birth.)

11. “Just wait till they’re older. It only gets harder.” (Thank you. I woke up this morning hoping I’d receive a word of discouragement while pushing a cart of preschoolers down the cereal aisle.)

10. “When one cries, does he wake the other?” (No. Twins cannot hear each other’s cries because they all communicate with their special telepathic language only.)

9. From a perfect stranger: “Were they in the same sac?” (Hello. Nice to meet you, too. Will you be sharing your gynecological history with me as well?)

8. “Are they developmentally behind?” (Well, let’s see. They’re 3 years old and thus far, all their graduate school applications have been denied. We’ll get back with you on that.)

7. “How do you do it?” (Haven’t you seen the Nike commercials?)

6. Said by a dentist: “I was shocked that they didn’t have the same bite patterns.” (They are two different human beings, not clones.)

5. “You must be SO busy.” (Are you volunteering to clean my house?)

4. Said to a mom of fraternal twins who are different sizes, have different eye color and different face structure: “How do you tell them apart?” (I just look at them.)

3. “What do you do when they both cry at the same time?” (Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I go to Starbucks.)

2. Said to a mom of boy/girl twins: “Are they identical?” (Uh. Not exactly.)

1. Only one comment could be voted No. 1. The choice was clear. Drum roll, please. After a stranger had been informed that the toddler boys were twins, she asked a simple question: “Are they brothers?” (Enough said.)

Let’s be honest. People are fascinated with twins. They don’t mean to say stupid things. It just happens. It happens to all of us. Saying stupid things is one activity that joins us all together as human beings. Learn to forgive the frailties of others and enjoy the laughs later. Life is a journey. Enjoy the double-stroller roller coaster ride!

Adjusting to Parenthood

As you find yourself lost in the crazy, sleep-deprived days and weeks after you bring home your new arrival(s), you will probably find that all of your attention is focused on the baby. There may be little or no time for any quiet time together with your spouse, and although this is completely normal, it will be important to find some time for the two of you .

Effective communication is always a very important part of any healthy relationship, but never is it more important than when you've become a family for the first time. As much as you'll be talking about your new baby, you need to be checking in with each other, to see how each of you are feeling. Make it a point each day to find the time to talk, to hug or cuddle. This allows you to support each other in your new roles as parents.

You'll probably find that you need to become extremely creative with your time. While you may have used to spend evening together you may now find that evenings are when your baby demands the most attention from you. You may have to improvise and spend time together when he or she is napping.

Becoming a family can bring about added stress for both parents. Many things will probably change in a short amount of time and this can take some getting used to. Quiet evenings together may now be a thing of the past. If you do find that your relationship is getting a bit tense , here are some little things you can do to ease the transition to becoming new parents.

First of all, allow yourselves both time to adjust to your new role as parents as well as to the new feelings and responsibilities. Take the time to talk with each other about how things are going and how you're feeling each day.

Try to make each conversation have statements that are positive and not blaming. Ask for help when you need it and let your partner know specifically what you do need. Don't expect them to read your mind and by asking, rather than blaming when things aren't going right that day, you can help the situation rather than make it worse.

Remember that between hormones and sleep deprivation and all of the changes going on in the household, things are a little out of whack. Don't blame each other and if you're angry with your spouse let them know and tell them why. Be specific about what you need instead of accusing your partner of not caring or not helping. They may not know what to do to be helpful. There is a silly myth that we are born knowing how to be parents and its not the case. It's a learning process for every family.

Try to set aside twenty minutes each day to be a couple, to talk and express your feelings. Try to not let the baby be the only member of the family to get attention and physical affection. Make sure to set aside a little time each day to be together.

If you make an effort to talk, to laugh and to be yourselves you'll grow into your new roles as parents together and have some fun along the way.

I'm the founder and author of a website for parents of twins at Raising Twins

I am a stay at home mom of four beautiful children, 2 boys and 2 girls. I have a degree in Applied Counseling and Early Childhood Education and has previously worked as a special needs worker, a Counselor for abused women, and a Counselor for High Risk Youth. For a more complete discussion about parenting you can visit Twin Parenting

Teething Twins Equals Double the Drool !

Teething is very different for every baby and twins are no different. You may find that one of your babies sails through teething without a fuss, while the other has a long, drawn out, painful experience. Sometimes you can see the little lumps under the gum line are sore and red, other times the first teeth just seem to magically appear!

On average, the first tooth usually appears somewhere in the seventh month of development. It is not unusual though for some showing up as early as the third month or as late as one year of age. Generally the first appearance of baby teeth are somewhere close to when you and your partner's first teeth made their appearance. Make a point of finding out when yours came in. It will give you a little advance warning !

Teething itself actually precedes the appearance of a tooth by as much as 3 months. While some doctors will tell you some symptoms have nothing to do with teething, from my experience - these are the things to expect from your teething twin babies.

Drool - and lots of it. It is normal in babies starting around 10 weeks or so until 3 or 4 months of age. It increases with the teething process.

Your babies may get a chin or a face rash due to all the extra saliva. Try to gently wipe away the excess drool as often as you can during the day and change your babies bedding if they are drooling a lot while asleep. This will help their baby skin to not be in constant contact with saliva. All the extra drool can result in loose bowel movements - which can bring about diaper rashes. If you are sure your babies are not ill, this is probably due to teething. All four of my children experienced this.

Your babies may cough a little due to the extra saliva as well. Again, as long as you are fairly certain they don't have a cold or flu, it's nothing to worry about.

Your babies will want to bite everything that comes in contact with their mouths. It helps to relieve the pressure from the new teeth forming under the gums. Have lots of safe toys on hand , and consider keeping them in the fridge ( not the freezer ) for added comfort.

Your twins may refuse to eat. Sometimes the pain of teething makes sucking on a bottle or breast painful. If your babies have already started on solid foods, they may not be interested for a while. Try to be sure that your babies are getting as much milk as possible during this time. If you are nursing, you may find that your babies are using your breasts to gnaw on to soothe their gums. While this may be soothing for them, it can be very painful for you. You may need to break the suction with a finger and say a firm 'no biting' quite a few times for them to stop.

Some other things to try that may help are rubbing your clean fingers firmly along their gums to offer counter pressure. Cold can help as well. You can try offering ice water in a sippy cup. This replaces fluids lots through all the drooling as well. A cold facecloth soaked in water and put in the fridge helped us. If your babies are eating some solid food, try serving cold applesauce or yogurt as it can be soothing to their little mouths.

With twins there are no set rules. You may find they are teething at the same time , with the same symptoms or they may be weeks apart with different symptoms. I can't vote on which is easier - if they're teething at the same time then chances are it will end at the same time as well. If they are on different teething schedules, then the process is more drawn out , but you're only dealing with one cranky baby. As with all things with twins, expect the unexpected and roll with the punches.

I'm the the founder and author of a website for parents of twins at Raising Twins

I am a stay at home mom of four beautiful children, 2 boys and 2 girls. I have a degree in Applied Counseling and Early Childhood Education and has previously worked as a special needs worker, a Counselor for abused women, and a Counselor for High Risk Youth and pregnant teens. For a more complete discussion about the ways to cope with teething visit Twin Teething