11 Top Tips On Working With Newborn Twins

Well, Well – You’re Having Twins!
11 Top Tips On Working With Newborn Twins


“Twins, it can’t be! No one on either side of my husband’s or my family can remember anyone having twins.” I guess my words didn’t matter much because when I heard I was going to give birth to twins, I felt a blessing, as if a special gift had been handed to me. Having twins meant being prepared for their arrival way before birth. I found out that not only did I need to purchase two of everything; I also discovered that I needed to be aware of the best way to parent my newborn twins.

Twins are both mystifying and marvelous. Their lives both enrich and complicate the lives of parents, brothers, sisters, friends and teachers. The birth of twins is due to either the splitting of a single egg, which produces identical twins, or to the fertilization of two separate eggs, which results in non-identical or fraternal twins. I once read the chances of a mother of any race delivering twins increases until her late thirties. The more children she already had, the higher the chances of twins. This was exactly my story. I was 32 years old when I gave birth to my fraternal twins (a boy and a girl) and I had four other smaller children at home awaiting their arrival. I felt very special knowing that my womb was the incubator for two precious souls.

I discovered by reading throughout my pregnancy many tips and techniques that would help me after the birth of my twins. I gave birth to my twins in Japan, without the available advice of my family and stateside friends, so gathering this information was paramount in creating and developing a harmonious household. Parenting would take on a larger dimension for my husband and myself. It was really a new ballgame and I wanted to know as much as I could in order to remain balanced, loving and emotionally attached to all of my children. Here are some of the tips, understandings, and suggestions on the raising of twins:

1. When you discover you will give birth to twins, contact a Twins Club via the Internet or yellow pages and become an active participant of the club. Learn all you can from other parents with twins.

2. Names – what to call your twins? It is suggested that parents choose distinctively different names for their babies instead of same initial names, i.e., Mary and Marion/Sam and Seth. Keep in mind that your twins are individuals from day one and should be thought of and treated as an individual.

3. With identical twins, parents may have a problem telling them apart. In order to correctly identify each twin, use small wristbands with their names on it, or select different color clothing and bedding. Start dressing your twins differently each day so that everyone knows who they are! Also try to remember to call each twin by its given name and not refer to them as “the twins.” This will help greatly in their self-esteem as they get older.

4. Realize that even though you love both your twins, you may in the beginning feel more loving to one twin. Why? Because twins have very distinctive personalities from birth. One baby may appear more placid and the other baby more temperamental. In any case, these feelings seem to pass as your twins spend more time with you.

5. Twins bond pretty early in life. My twins each played a role for each other. If my son dropped his pacifier, my daughter would crawl over and place it in his mouth! If my daughter were looking for something, my son would always find it and hand it to her. My son was more excitable and full of energy. My daughter was quieter and more serene. Twins often continue to show these patterns of behavior during their infancy and beyond. Even though twins identify with each other, they also need to create their own individuality. When you see them become their own person, promote it whole-heartily.

6. Breastfeeding or bottle-feeding? Twins will accept either one. I found that nursing twins simultaneously, even though clumsy at first, was the way to go. I would tuck one twin under each arm, supported by pillows. I would rotate the babies, changing breasts for each feeding. The advantages of breastfeeding are, of course, the protection against infection, as well as the nutrients required for your twins’ healthy growth. A family saves both time and money when breastfeeding: a mother has more physical contact while breastfeeding and if you’re feeding your babies by bottle (separately), it inevitably takes twice as long. The advantage of bottle-feeding is that other people around you can share your workload. You can pump your breast milk and have your husband, or older children, feed the babies. This will allow you a rest. Important: Don’t forget to eat several substantial meals a day, as your babies are breastfeeding. Breastfeeding takes nutrients from your bodily system. Join La Leche League and attend their meetings if you decide to breastfeed.

7. Your first year with twins will be hectic and appear at times to be unmanageable. Remember that your first year should be a year of seeking and accepting help. You only have two hands. Isolation will be a part of your day. Your friends may visit you less and less. True, there is not much time for socializing, but remember to take “me” time as often as you. Time to get your nails done, your hair cut, a bubble bath, time for a movie….any time that is away from your babies. Balance is the key to everything and if you’re tired and irritable because of being “mommy” each and every day, you need to allow your husband, family or friends to take over once in awhile.

8. As often as possible, get a good night’s sleep. Being refreshed for your day with your twins is vital for your mental and physical health. Twins don’t necessarily sleep at the same time, but if and when they do, take a cat-nap yourself. When your twins are a couple of months old, run the vacuum cleaner while they are napping. Get them used to noise and then watch them sleep right through it!

9. Create routines for EVERYTHING. Routines need to be created for bathing time, feeding time, sleeping time, clothes washing time, walking outdoors time – any domestic task you do each and every day should have a routine attached to it. It will save you energy and your sanity. Doing the same thing (at the same time) each day will create time for you to breathe and feel whole. Do not become a slave to the moment; instead make a routine that can only be changed by an emergency. Without a routine in place, you will find yourself drained, as you’ll feel yourself being stretched beyond your imagination.

10. Know in advance: Your time spent with each twin will seem unequal. One baby may demand more time either because he/she cries more or takes longer to feed. Do not feel guilty. Every mother of twins knows that this scenario can’t really be changed! If you find yourself resenting the twin who occupies more of your time, re-think this out and decide that you are doing the best you can. A mother with twins will find it very difficult to devote any kind of concentrated attention to one twin without the other twin calling for equal attention. One day, as the twins grow older, you can dedicate yourself to more one-on-one time with each twin in a more equitable fashion.

11. Fathers are vital to the raising of twins. Fathers are not aides or assistants - they are and should be considered an active participant who can supply the individualized attention your twins demand. Work out a system with your husband so that both of you understand who will do what and when for your twins. Fathers are a role model to a boy/girl twin or a boy twin that is invaluable.

Being the mother and father of twins is indeed very special. Parent your twins with joy, patience, perspective and understanding. Discover the personal growth that develops within you as you watch four tiny bright eyes peering up at you as you are feeding your babies. Relax. Be in awe and be aware knowing that your twins are truly a gift and a grace from God.

Copyright © 2005 by Linda Milo and Empowering Parents Now. All rights reserved.


Author's Bio

Linda Milo, a.k.a., "The Parent-Child Connection Coach" specializes in helping mothers and fathers turn their parenting challenges into a more livable, more workable, and more enjoyable family life. Through her experience as a single parent who has raised six children (including twins), been a nursery school teacher, a teacher for middle school children, and an active member of the PTA, Linda understands the ups and downs of parenthood.

Through her Parent-Child Connection Program, Linda’s clients enjoy a healthier and more trusting relationship, and a strong parent-child bond with their child. Find out more at http://www.empoweringparentsnow.com.

Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil

Or speak no Knock Knock Jokes!

The twins have discovered knock knock jokes. The problem is that they don't quite get the concept and they are slowly driving me crazy !

If they're not asking me -
"mom - knock knock"
Me "who's there"
Twin "pickle"
Me "pickle who?"
Twin "Pickle - umm- hey -I forgot, pickle say banana - no - I like to ...." total lost train of thought and then it starts all over again with the punchline forgotten each time.

Or better yet - when they are asking each other
Twin A "knock knock"
Twin B "who's there?"
Twin A "orange"
Twin B " orange who?"
Twin A " um - orange, no - banana you didn't - hey - no fair - you said pickle- it's my turn silly billy - no fair - mom !!!!!!!"

Or of course when they are coming up with some totally ridiculous made up word like 'foo-foo face' that sends them both off into peals of laughter. Once , is funny, 18 times in a row - not so funny anymore !

Trying to feed them dinner - knock knock jokes, bathtime - more jokes - all day - we are living knock knock jokes !

And to think we as parents try so hard when they are young to encourage our babies to communicate and speak as early as possible. Sigh. I know - it's only a stage and it will pass -

I may need to borrow some of my husbands ear plugs....

Two Children...One Love

It was a hot summer day and with little rain having fallen lately, I went outside to get the hose. I was just about to turn on the water and then I saw it. There it was, in the middle of my garden, a spectacular sight, something I had never seen before.

Imagine this image - two rose blooms – one pure yellow, the other pink with just a hint of a yellow hue on its petals. They are each growing on their own individual sprigs which are connected in a V shape to the same stronger branch that is rooted firmly in the ground. One bush with two very different coloured roses having come from the same source!

I was so taken back…How could this have happened? As an avid gardener, I knew this was in fact the second round of blooming on this particular bush, and I had never seen a yellow rose on it before! I felt myself very humbled by this experience and many thoughts ran through my mind.

Their parent in the sky feeds them with the rain and nurtures them with the warmth and light of the sun, each blossom receiving the same nourishment as they each gracefully grow and open fully into the beautiful flowers they were destined to be – side by side, dawning different colours, yet each emanating their own spectacular beauty.

This was truly one of nature’s miracles and I stood in awe, observing these rose’s unique beauty, loving them both the same. I didn’t have a preference or dislike for either yellow or pink. I sensed that the roses could feel the energy of this love and appreciation and were grateful for being admired and adored equally, even though their appearances differed.

This brought back memories when, as a parent, I may not have appreciated the individuality of my children, unconsciously comparing them or feeling disappointed in one more than the other.

Each bloom that sprouts miraculously on our family rose bushes may be different in their characteristics, even though they come from the same garden and I believe that they, like nature’s roses, can also feel the energy of unconditional love.

I am grateful for the reminder that my garden offered me that day, to be aware and conscious that although I have two children…I have one love.


Author's Bio

A reaction, a look or a phrase, and we catch ourselves, “I’ve turned into my mom/dad!” Jo-Anne Cutler is no exception. Once she became aware of this and the impact her words and reactions had on her kids, she made a conscious choice to change. Jo-Anne knew that if she could do it, anyone could! She now builds awareness for others as an author, speaker and coach, offering phone sessions, audio programs as well as a monthly newsletter inspiring others on how to keep all the great things we’ve learned from our parents while breaking the cycle of the not so good habits. For more information or to contact Jo-Anne directly, please visit http://www.jcconnections.ca

Adjusting to Parenthood

As you find yourself lost in the crazy, sleep-deprived days and weeks after you bring home your new arrival(s), you will probably find that all of your attention is focused on the baby. There may be little or no time for any quiet time together with your spouse, and although this is completely normal, it will be important to find some time for the two of you .

Effective communication is always a very important part of any healthy relationship, but never is it more important than when you've become a family for the first time. As much as you'll be talking about your new baby, you need to be checking in with each other, to see how each of you are feeling. Make it a point each day to find the time to talk, to hug or cuddle. This allows you to support each other in your new roles as parents.

You'll probably find that you need to become extremely creative with your time. While you may have used to spend evening together you may now find that evenings are when your baby demands the most attention from you. You may have to improvise and spend time together when he or she is napping.

Becoming a family can bring about added stress for both parents. Many things will probably change in a short amount of time and this can take some getting used to. Quiet evenings together may now be a thing of the past. If you do find that your relationship is getting a bit tense , here are some little things you can do to ease the transition to becoming new parents.

First of all, allow yourselves both time to adjust to your new role as parents as well as to the new feelings and responsibilities. Take the time to talk with each other about how things are going and how you're feeling each day.

Try to make each conversation have statements that are positive and not blaming. Ask for help when you need it and let your partner know specifically what you do need. Don't expect them to read your mind and by asking, rather than blaming when things aren't going right that day, you can help the situation rather than make it worse.

Remember that between hormones and sleep deprivation and all of the changes going on in the household, things are a little out of whack. Don't blame each other and if you're angry with your spouse let them know and tell them why. Be specific about what you need instead of accusing your partner of not caring or not helping. They may not know what to do to be helpful. There is a silly myth that we are born knowing how to be parents and its not the case. It's a learning process for every family.

Try to set aside twenty minutes each day to be a couple, to talk and express your feelings. Try to not let the baby be the only member of the family to get attention and physical affection. Make sure to set aside a little time each day to be together.

If you make an effort to talk, to laugh and to be yourselves you'll grow into your new roles as parents together and have some fun along the way.

I'm the founder and author of a website for parents of twins at Raising Twins

I am a stay at home mom of four beautiful children, 2 boys and 2 girls. I have a degree in Applied Counseling and Early Childhood Education and has previously worked as a special needs worker, a Counselor for abused women, and a Counselor for High Risk Youth. For a more complete discussion about parenting you can visit Twin Parenting

Teething Twins Equals Double the Drool !

Teething is very different for every baby and twins are no different. You may find that one of your babies sails through teething without a fuss, while the other has a long, drawn out, painful experience. Sometimes you can see the little lumps under the gum line are sore and red, other times the first teeth just seem to magically appear!

On average, the first tooth usually appears somewhere in the seventh month of development. It is not unusual though for some showing up as early as the third month or as late as one year of age. Generally the first appearance of baby teeth are somewhere close to when you and your partner's first teeth made their appearance. Make a point of finding out when yours came in. It will give you a little advance warning !

Teething itself actually precedes the appearance of a tooth by as much as 3 months. While some doctors will tell you some symptoms have nothing to do with teething, from my experience - these are the things to expect from your teething twin babies.

Drool - and lots of it. It is normal in babies starting around 10 weeks or so until 3 or 4 months of age. It increases with the teething process.

Your babies may get a chin or a face rash due to all the extra saliva. Try to gently wipe away the excess drool as often as you can during the day and change your babies bedding if they are drooling a lot while asleep. This will help their baby skin to not be in constant contact with saliva. All the extra drool can result in loose bowel movements - which can bring about diaper rashes. If you are sure your babies are not ill, this is probably due to teething. All four of my children experienced this.

Your babies may cough a little due to the extra saliva as well. Again, as long as you are fairly certain they don't have a cold or flu, it's nothing to worry about.

Your babies will want to bite everything that comes in contact with their mouths. It helps to relieve the pressure from the new teeth forming under the gums. Have lots of safe toys on hand , and consider keeping them in the fridge ( not the freezer ) for added comfort.

Your twins may refuse to eat. Sometimes the pain of teething makes sucking on a bottle or breast painful. If your babies have already started on solid foods, they may not be interested for a while. Try to be sure that your babies are getting as much milk as possible during this time. If you are nursing, you may find that your babies are using your breasts to gnaw on to soothe their gums. While this may be soothing for them, it can be very painful for you. You may need to break the suction with a finger and say a firm 'no biting' quite a few times for them to stop.

Some other things to try that may help are rubbing your clean fingers firmly along their gums to offer counter pressure. Cold can help as well. You can try offering ice water in a sippy cup. This replaces fluids lots through all the drooling as well. A cold facecloth soaked in water and put in the fridge helped us. If your babies are eating some solid food, try serving cold applesauce or yogurt as it can be soothing to their little mouths.

With twins there are no set rules. You may find they are teething at the same time , with the same symptoms or they may be weeks apart with different symptoms. I can't vote on which is easier - if they're teething at the same time then chances are it will end at the same time as well. If they are on different teething schedules, then the process is more drawn out , but you're only dealing with one cranky baby. As with all things with twins, expect the unexpected and roll with the punches.

I'm the the founder and author of a website for parents of twins at Raising Twins

I am a stay at home mom of four beautiful children, 2 boys and 2 girls. I have a degree in Applied Counseling and Early Childhood Education and has previously worked as a special needs worker, a Counselor for abused women, and a Counselor for High Risk Youth and pregnant teens. For a more complete discussion about the ways to cope with teething visit Twin Teething

What exactly is a WAHM anyway?

WAHM - what exactly is that ? Well the acronym stands for 'work at home mom'. Now don't get me wrong - all moms work ! The 'wahm' part of it is whether or not you're actually seeing a paycheck come in. Unfortunately no one out there will pay you for doing laundry and changing dirty diapers.

I get tons of emails every day, a lot of it is spam, but there will be those emails that I get that I need to respond to. Since I am the editor at RaisingTwins.com,I get twin mommies sending me emails asking how they can make money online at home for their families. Daycare for twins plus other children if you have them is really expensive !

There is not one straight answer for this question. Every family is different and in order to be your own boss - you need to be motivated and willing to multi-task a lot. I've tried a lot of things in order to be home with my kids and still help out with the family budget. Most of the moms that write me don’t know where to begin. They're not sure what is real and what is a scam. They know they want to make money but they don’t know if they want to build a website, join an affiliate program, do some kind of internet marketing or sales etc. Some don’t have any idea what there is available, and some just want to be paid for - well - doing nothing.

The advent of the internet has really opened up a whole new world for moms who want the best of both worlds. If you are willing to be educated and still 'work' hard, the benefits to both you and your family are incredible. Having your own business is very empowering as a woman and a mother. It also allows you to connect with other intelligent, wahm's so you're not so isolated if you are at home.

Many women who choose to leave their careers to have children miss the accomplishments, the recognition, and of course, the paychecks that come from working outside the home. Having twins for a lot of people doubles the expense of daycare - so if you're not earning a significant income at your job, you may find you are working - just to pay someone else to watch your children grow up.


After receiving these questions for the last few years, I decided to write this blog. Out of all the things I have done online to generate income, utilizing the internet has been the best way. I know how easy it is, to make an extra income at home by blogging and from building websites. You can even signup for a FREE blog if you don’t have any extra money for your own domain. I know there are many moms, dads, students and more out there who would love for an opportunity to make some extra cash at home in their spare time. This is especially true if they can make that extra income and not have to leave their house.

What is blogging ? Well, it is just creating an online journal of some sort. What a blog is about depends on the author who is publishing it. Blogs back in the 1990’s started out as web logs for servers. Now they are online diaries, journals, websites, random thoughts, or whatever you want them to be. Site building if done correctly, can also bring in money and personal satisfaction.

I've managed to stay home with my twins since I first got pregnant with them. I haven't missed a moment. And that, is priceless.