Adjusting to Parenthood

As you find yourself lost in the crazy, sleep-deprived days and weeks after you bring home your new arrival(s), you will probably find that all of your attention is focused on the baby. There may be little or no time for any quiet time together with your spouse, and although this is completely normal, it will be important to find some time for the two of you .

Effective communication is always a very important part of any healthy relationship, but never is it more important than when you've become a family for the first time. As much as you'll be talking about your new baby, you need to be checking in with each other, to see how each of you are feeling. Make it a point each day to find the time to talk, to hug or cuddle. This allows you to support each other in your new roles as parents.

You'll probably find that you need to become extremely creative with your time. While you may have used to spend evening together you may now find that evenings are when your baby demands the most attention from you. You may have to improvise and spend time together when he or she is napping.

Becoming a family can bring about added stress for both parents. Many things will probably change in a short amount of time and this can take some getting used to. Quiet evenings together may now be a thing of the past. If you do find that your relationship is getting a bit tense , here are some little things you can do to ease the transition to becoming new parents.

First of all, allow yourselves both time to adjust to your new role as parents as well as to the new feelings and responsibilities. Take the time to talk with each other about how things are going and how you're feeling each day.

Try to make each conversation have statements that are positive and not blaming. Ask for help when you need it and let your partner know specifically what you do need. Don't expect them to read your mind and by asking, rather than blaming when things aren't going right that day, you can help the situation rather than make it worse.

Remember that between hormones and sleep deprivation and all of the changes going on in the household, things are a little out of whack. Don't blame each other and if you're angry with your spouse let them know and tell them why. Be specific about what you need instead of accusing your partner of not caring or not helping. They may not know what to do to be helpful. There is a silly myth that we are born knowing how to be parents and its not the case. It's a learning process for every family.

Try to set aside twenty minutes each day to be a couple, to talk and express your feelings. Try to not let the baby be the only member of the family to get attention and physical affection. Make sure to set aside a little time each day to be together.

If you make an effort to talk, to laugh and to be yourselves you'll grow into your new roles as parents together and have some fun along the way.

I'm the founder and author of a website for parents of twins at Raising Twins

I am a stay at home mom of four beautiful children, 2 boys and 2 girls. I have a degree in Applied Counseling and Early Childhood Education and has previously worked as a special needs worker, a Counselor for abused women, and a Counselor for High Risk Youth. For a more complete discussion about parenting you can visit Twin Parenting

Teething Twins Equals Double the Drool !

Teething is very different for every baby and twins are no different. You may find that one of your babies sails through teething without a fuss, while the other has a long, drawn out, painful experience. Sometimes you can see the little lumps under the gum line are sore and red, other times the first teeth just seem to magically appear!

On average, the first tooth usually appears somewhere in the seventh month of development. It is not unusual though for some showing up as early as the third month or as late as one year of age. Generally the first appearance of baby teeth are somewhere close to when you and your partner's first teeth made their appearance. Make a point of finding out when yours came in. It will give you a little advance warning !

Teething itself actually precedes the appearance of a tooth by as much as 3 months. While some doctors will tell you some symptoms have nothing to do with teething, from my experience - these are the things to expect from your teething twin babies.

Drool - and lots of it. It is normal in babies starting around 10 weeks or so until 3 or 4 months of age. It increases with the teething process.

Your babies may get a chin or a face rash due to all the extra saliva. Try to gently wipe away the excess drool as often as you can during the day and change your babies bedding if they are drooling a lot while asleep. This will help their baby skin to not be in constant contact with saliva. All the extra drool can result in loose bowel movements - which can bring about diaper rashes. If you are sure your babies are not ill, this is probably due to teething. All four of my children experienced this.

Your babies may cough a little due to the extra saliva as well. Again, as long as you are fairly certain they don't have a cold or flu, it's nothing to worry about.

Your babies will want to bite everything that comes in contact with their mouths. It helps to relieve the pressure from the new teeth forming under the gums. Have lots of safe toys on hand , and consider keeping them in the fridge ( not the freezer ) for added comfort.

Your twins may refuse to eat. Sometimes the pain of teething makes sucking on a bottle or breast painful. If your babies have already started on solid foods, they may not be interested for a while. Try to be sure that your babies are getting as much milk as possible during this time. If you are nursing, you may find that your babies are using your breasts to gnaw on to soothe their gums. While this may be soothing for them, it can be very painful for you. You may need to break the suction with a finger and say a firm 'no biting' quite a few times for them to stop.

Some other things to try that may help are rubbing your clean fingers firmly along their gums to offer counter pressure. Cold can help as well. You can try offering ice water in a sippy cup. This replaces fluids lots through all the drooling as well. A cold facecloth soaked in water and put in the fridge helped us. If your babies are eating some solid food, try serving cold applesauce or yogurt as it can be soothing to their little mouths.

With twins there are no set rules. You may find they are teething at the same time , with the same symptoms or they may be weeks apart with different symptoms. I can't vote on which is easier - if they're teething at the same time then chances are it will end at the same time as well. If they are on different teething schedules, then the process is more drawn out , but you're only dealing with one cranky baby. As with all things with twins, expect the unexpected and roll with the punches.

I'm the the founder and author of a website for parents of twins at Raising Twins

I am a stay at home mom of four beautiful children, 2 boys and 2 girls. I have a degree in Applied Counseling and Early Childhood Education and has previously worked as a special needs worker, a Counselor for abused women, and a Counselor for High Risk Youth and pregnant teens. For a more complete discussion about the ways to cope with teething visit Twin Teething